Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
