we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
