wat bout pragnant strippers??
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
