I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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