420 ftw
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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