It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Alive.
So much puke
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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