I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
