at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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