My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
