Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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