remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
