im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
