used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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