I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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