drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
farters have to be the big spoon...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
