if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
