when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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