He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
