I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
