3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
