So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
