I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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