She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
