Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize