So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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