Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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