What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
