names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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