Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry billiardgoddess hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.

Fav 4 1251 1351
share tweet
(416): View more from Ontario

the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options

Fav 4 3769 754
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(353): View more from

I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing

Fav 41 5893 2099
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.

Fav 47 9180 2542
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"

Fav 8 4773 1293
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home

Fav 3 1154 680
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(856): View more from New Jersey

It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.

Fav 1 1418 644
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?

Fav 2 321 230
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year

(1-314): View more from Missouri

So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition

Fav 0 171 73
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT