my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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