my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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