THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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