He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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