He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
