Is it because I queefed?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
