if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
