White coat. Heels.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
