ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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