420 ftw
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
