i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
