I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
