have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
