you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
