There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
