i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize