Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
