Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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