Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
