Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
