Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
