I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize