Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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