i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
