Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
