I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
